2. BATTLESHIP.  SPOILERS!!!

I was going to be too lazy to review Battleship, but after I saw that it did supposedly poorly at the box office and that Robert Brians, the chairman of Comcast, said he made a misjudgment and seemed to be regretting the movie, I wanted to write about it.

Because I really, really enjoyed it.

Right off the bat I want to say one of the main reasons I enjoyed it: it was able to bring in expected and sensible aspects of a Naval movie, without being cliché.  The movie opens with the main character shown as a “wild child,” or, more like wild teen.  He’s lazing on his brother’s sofa, mooching and drinking, chasing skirts and wearing his hair like a mop.  His brother forces him to join the Navy, like him, to get structure.

But here’s how I find it different than a cliché “send the wild man to get discipline in the military,” it’s because it’s the brother, who’s obviously very close to him and uses it as a last resort.  At first he spoils him, letting him crash at his place and only giving him gentle hints to get out of the nest.  As they toast to his birthday, the brother lightly hopes for a future with a job for his brother, which the brother brushes off.

So it’s just as much about the brother changing and getting stricter, as it is about the main character getting his wake up call to life.

Hopper may have a crew cut but his spirit is still rogue, and the film shows this in scrappy fights in the ship and tardiness.  As a viewer, though, I didn’t say, “meh.  Navy’s not for him, he’ll get kicked out, who cares.”  I was invested because Hopper did have something at stake—his admiral’s daughter, who he was ready to take as his bride.

So there is intrinsic tension and interest in this plot now—he is fighting between changing as a person, or losing his girlfriend. 

Hopper’s not the only one on the ship, of course—there’s his brother, who is pushing him to mature.  Then there’s the admiral, played by Liam Neeson.  Another hot name is Rhianna, who played a sailor.  She has some annoying “on and off” banter with a curly-haired sailor, that interaction feels forced and dumb to me, I will freely confess.  Also a geeky scientist plays devil’s advocate for the idea of “contacting aliens,” he thinks it’s a dumb and dangerous idea, using a pointed metaphor: “It’s like Columbus finding the natives, only this time we’re the colonies and we’re going to get wiped out.”

The girlfriend isn’t just a cardboard cutout, either—she plays a major role, and anchors the viewer in the plot points that take place on land, while Hopper is at sea in the battle.  His girl works in physical therapy, which is a second time that the movie avoids clichés while bringing up interesting aspects of the military.

I was so refreshed that this action movie didn’t sidestep the reality that war brings, as it showed injured and disabled soldiers in their therapy.  One solider who has an artificial leg becomes a minor character in the cast.  While there is a mini arc with him working with the therapist to get his spirit and hope back, this arc blends with him helping the girlfriend and the geeky scientist to disable some important technology that will impair the aliens.

As a total sidenote, I was amazed at how much the geek looked like a young George Lucas.  Did he play as George in “Lucas in Love”?

Well, anyway.  To get right down to it, putting aside the supporting cast, the point of the movie is the “coming of age” of Hopper.  He is getting his testing by fire, but more like by metal when the strange robotic aliens land in water and shoot out a dome barrier, locking in the battleships so they can pick them off like flies.

Hopper’s brother is killed in a dramatic scene of flames that really had me sitting up.  I knew this was definitely not a “happy” Disney movie where everything is okay.  I kept hoping the brother would somehow be alive, but the writers didn’t cheat death.  Hopper is left in charge, which I felt wasn’t realistic.  I doubt such a rookie would be slotted second in command, so this point felt a little bit forced.

Still, what was completely natural and wonderful was the mentor Hopper had.  Since the Naval Exercise had been an international one, during a conference of many countries, there was a Japanese Naval officer who was middle-aged, very seasoned and wise.  He took over and Hopper looked up to him in tense but realistic scenes as the frantic sailors had to decide who they were going to trust and listen to.  Eventually they offered the officer the seat and symbolized they were respecting him.

I felt let down though, that the writers felt they had to make Hopper “tops” and pass up his mentor.  I completely agree with the saying, “He is a poor teacher who is not surpassed by his pupil,” but not this fast!  It was like 2 days and then Hopper took control.  When they had to abandon ship, the mentor was dripping wet and sagging in the lifeboat saying, “What do you want us to do, Hopper?  We have no boat.”  That felt unfair and forced.  It was against his character to give in like that, and was obviously written just so Hopper could really steal the spotlight.

Still, what followed next was one of the best scenes in the movie: they went to a battleship that was being used as a museum, and they recruited all the retired sailors who had fought in WWII, to help them outfit the ship and take her to the water.  It was so moving to see these old men, and see them come to life again as their skills were needed—I just felt a strong respect in the movie for the older generation who have many skills and hard-won knowledge.

Again, Hopper seems to know too much and pull things off too easily for a rookie sailor.  It really bothered me, as you can tell, because one of the main plots of the movie was his character arc, and I feel the writers crippled it a little by making him rocket to ease and glory. 

Still, not all hope was lost.  There is a great moment near the end where Hopper quotes a saying from an ancient Chinese war text triumphantly, thinking he’s used it to win a strike.  “But that’s not what it means,” the mentor says, completely straight delivery.  “It’s not?” A baffled Hopper asks.  “Not even close.”  Hopper isn’t quite as cool as he thinks he’s become.

The admiral and his fleet don’t play as large a part as I’d like; felt like I forgot about them as they merely floated and bobbed in the water, waiting for the shield to come down a la Lando Calrissian in Return of the Jedi.  Still he was a strong character and a good addition to the film, and the scene with him and Hopper at the closing of the movie, as Hopper asks for the girlfriend’s hand in marriage, is satisfyingly serious-comic, though the dialogue is a trifle corny for me.  This scene comes after a grave scene honoring Hopper’s fallen brother, and I felt the film did an admirable job balancing out the mood of the intense story.

I really do feel that there were themes in this movie such as finding purpose in life and becoming a leader.  I’m a big fan of movies that have leadership themes, since leadership is such a complex and demanding role.  Another movie that showed that theme was “Battle L.A.,” maybe I’ll review that one sometime too.

Although some of the scenes were forced and played too earnestly for laughs, much of the film had a “street photography” feel—like these things were just happening, and a camera happened to catch it.  Rather than using expository dialogue, the film had creative and informative camera cuts.  For instance it’s never said in the movie, “the aliens only sense metal, not humans.”  But we know it as we see from the alien’s point of view, and see that only metal or machines light up red, everything else is green and ignored, even when they are right next to the human.

Overall a great film, 3.5/5 stars.